Lab Technician

Sara Zehnacker

A lab technician for Methodist Children’s Hospital sounds like a promising summer internship, right? The first couple hours started off well for my sister, with her professional white lab coat and name tag…she looked almost like a doctor. They walked her into a high tech laboratory loaded with state-of-the-art equipment. They took her to her workstation full of all of the necessities for her “promising” summer internship.

Then reality set in when she noticed that the all of collection cups were neatly labeled: urine, feces, fpupum, and emesis…in other words: pee, poop, snot, and vomit. Yes, her summer was filled with transferring all the disgusting bodily fluids and wastes from collection cups to petri dishes with a high tech Q-Tip.

What’s worst than a “Crappy Summer Job?” A Crappy, Vomitose, Snotty, Pissy Summer Job!!!